Category: De-escalation

Customer Experience Design by myragolden

3 De-escalation Techniques Gayle King Used In the Emotional R. Kelly Interview

TM6W6MSAFAI6TBNNO6PPAX6Z3A

Gayle King, CBS This Morning co-host, sat down with an emotional R. Kelly to talk about his allegations of sexual abuse. In the interview, King maintained a calm and steady focus using three key de-escalation tactics, which also work very well in intense customer interactions. 

In the interview, the singer cries, rants at the camera, beats his chest, and stands, towering over Gayle King with warlike body language. The CBS This Morning crew stopped the interview to give R. Kelly the chance to compose himself. (Back on camera, he’d failed to cool down.)

R. Kelly’s emotional eruption was astonishing, but the stunner for me was Gayle King’s calm presence, and focus while the singer platformed over her. I played the video three times to take in Gayle’s unflappable countenance. She was as calm as the moon.

After R. Kelley’s theatrical performance aired on CBS This Morning, co-host Norah O’Donnell awed, “You remained both tough and calm throughout that.” And to that observation, Gayle rationalized, “It wouldn’t do any good if we both got hysterical, or if we both got very emotional.”

This point right here is why R. Kelly and Gayle King are on my blog today – “It wouldn’t do any good if we both got hysterical or if we both got very emotional.”

Customers will rant, verbally attack, and maybe even be intimidating. It’s unfair, but it happens. Your best response to an unreasonable and emotional customer is to remain unflappable, just as Gayle King did in this now-viral interview.

Here’s a close look at three techniques King used tactically to help her remain calm and focused throughout the dramatic sit-down, three techniques that will help you stand unflappable with demanding and unreasonable customers. I’ve also included a video of portions of the interview for you to study Gayle’s de-escalation techniques. 

Continue reading 3 De-escalation Techniques Gayle King Used In the Emotional R. Kelly Interview
De-escalation by myragolden

How to De-escalate Using the Snatch and Flip Technique

And Boom.001

When your customer furiously tears in, not letting you pinch in so much as “um hmmm,” regain control using the Snatch and Flip technique. Here’s what you do.

1. Listen (Try to be fully present, listening without annoyance.)

2. Identify the subject that has hacked the customer off. (This tends to be the thing they bring up repeatedly.)

3. Snatch the topic and jump in, and immediately flip the conversation to how you might help. (Think of timing your entrance into a game of jump rope – you have to find the exact right second, or you’ll trip on the rope.)

If your customer’s real issue is the rental car broke down, but she’s venting about her hungry and irritated kids, and how your company put her in this position, you snatch the topic of her kids and then flip into problem-solving. Like this.

“I want to get you back to your kids quickly. So let me find out exactly where you’re located so we can send out a replacement vehicle.”

Steps one and two are easy. You do this every day. The Snatch and Flip take some practice. Let me walk you through exactly how to pull this off.

Continue reading How to De-escalate Using the Snatch and Flip Technique
Customer Experience Design by myragolden

The One Word That Makes Customers Accept Your Word As Final

Front view portrait of operator man with headset

If you say “because” when you’re telling a customer something, you’ll significantly increase the chance that they’ll accept your word as final.

Here’s Why Saying “Because” Works

Research by psychologist Ellen Langer found that saying “because” and then tossing out a reason as insignificant as a discarded rubber band got people to agree. In her research, Ellen created a scenario where a person wanted to cut in line to use a copier in a library, and the request was made in three different ways:

1. “Excuse me. I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine?”

60% of the time this question worked, and the person was able to cut in line.

2. “Excuse me. I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine because I have to make some copies?”

This absurd reason worked 93% of the time.

3. “Excuse me. I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine because I’m in a rush?”

Pleading with urgency, even with a ludicrous need, upped the success rate to 94%.

Using the “because” tactic can increase the chances of a customer accepting your word as final. I teach and role-play this strategy in my de-escalation workshops.

Here’s all you have to do to use the “because” tactic for de-escalation.

Continue reading The One Word That Makes Customers Accept Your Word As Final

De-escalation by myragolden

5 Reasons Why You’re a Rookie At De-escalating

bored young female professional working for a call center

Inflammatory words and an aggressive tone heat up an interaction like an oven heats up a room. The five biggest mistakes I see customer service professionals make when talking to upset customers are:

Aggressive tone – A direct or authoritative tone will quickly lead to an escalation in aggression or to a supervisor.

Making threats – Spitting off, “Calm down or I can’t help you” will assuredly not make a customer calm down.

Repeating your point – Repetition doesn’t make your point stronger. It annoys, or worse, infuriates your customer.

Pushing back – Getting aggressive or hostile because your customer pushes you shows weakness, and your customer will push harder.

Playing the antagonist role – Disagreeing and pointing out where your customer is wrong intensifies the interaction.

Let’s walk through the five big rookie mistakes, and see how an all-star would handle each of these situations.

Continue reading 5 Reasons Why You’re a Rookie At De-escalating
De-escalation by myragolden

The Fastest Way to De-escalate Is To Use Your Customer’s Last 3 Words

Successful businesswoman in suit with arrogant expression

When you have an enraged customer on the phone or in front of you, nothing threads the needle like mirroring the customer’s words. Copying the customer’s angry expressions makes the customer feel heard and understood. When the unreasonable customer feels like you’re listening is when they go from a boil to a simmer.

There are only three things you have to remember to do with mirroring.

  1. Copy the last three words the customer mouths
  2. Pause for a beat
  3. Repeat

Mirror the customer’s last three words

The most critical part of mirroring to de-escalate is to merely repeat back the last three words (or the critical one to three words) your customer mouthed, and put a question mark in your voice.

I learned the three-word technique from former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss in his book, “Never Split the Difference: Negotiate Like Your Life Depends On It.”

Let me walk you through this.

Continue reading The Fastest Way to De-escalate Is To Use Your Customer’s Last 3 Words
Customer Experience Design by myragolden

Three Proactive Things You Can Do to Pre-empt an Escalation with a Customer

iStock-866661208.jpg

Tomorrow morning I’m headed to Phoenix to deliver a workshop at the Salesforce Trailblazers for the Future Conference. I booked an extra night at the Arizona Biltmore because I wanted some “me time” for relaxation and reading. I do this often, adding a day or two to a business trip to chill, explore, and enjoy local restaurants. Do you take time just for yourself?

Before I wrap things up in my office today and prepare for tomorrow’s early flight, I’m sharing with you three things you can do to pre-empt an escalation with a customer. These tips will help you handle interactions to significantly minimize the chance of a customer becoming so incensed that they feel they have to talk to a supervisor.

1. Reflect Your Brand Promise

One of my clients is a furniture protection plan company. A point of upset for many of their customers is when they discover that the damage to their furniture is not covered under warranty. Customers get intensely agitated because they feel what they purchased is not the same as the service they receive. I encouraged agents in this company to reflect the brand promise in every interaction. I had them focus on explaining first what the protection plan covered and then quickly going over a few of its many benefits.

Instead of merely telling the customer that their damage was not covered, I instructed agents to say something like,

“You have an excellent plan here. It covers such things as scratches and broken pieces. In this case, we do not cover discoloration of the leather, as fading is a natural occurrence that comes from body oils and usage. If anything else should come up, though, please give us a call, and we’ll be happy to look into things for you.”

Reflecting the brand promise, in this situation, is reminding the customer of the many benefits the protection plan does offer and by serving customers with a friendly demeanor.

2. Don’t Push

Continue reading Three Proactive Things You Can Do to Pre-empt an Escalation with a Customer
De-escalation by myragolden

De-escalate Your Most Demanding and Challenging Customers In 3 Steps

iStock-849454590.jpg

In a few weeks, I’ll be delivering my popular 3-Step De-escalation Workshop at Customer Contact Week in Las Vegas. Attendees in my session will learn precisely how to de-escalate with extremely challenging customers. If you’re in the Las Vegas area on June 21, check out my course and please say hello to me before or after the workshop.

Today I’m giving you a preview of the three steps I’ll be sharing in-depth at the Customer Contact Week Conference. My de-escalation steps are Respond, Reframe, and Resolve.

Step 1: Respond

Continue reading De-escalate Your Most Demanding and Challenging Customers In 3 Steps
Difficult Customers by myragolden

7 Things You Can Say to Gain Control with Challenging Customers

Support phone operator in headset at workplace

If you find it difficult to get your customer to stop telling you the story of just how inconvenienced they were, or are, and to stop rambling on about the problem, it’s likely because the customer is stuck in the past.

You’re going to have to reframe the issue in the customer’s mind. That is, you must strategically move your customer out of a past problem to a focus on the present so that you can offer a solution. Your job, in essence, is to get the customer to move on.

Reframing statements are fantastic in getting the customer to move forward. Reframing does two things for you. First, it acknowledges your customer’s biggest concern. You empathize. Secondly, it ushers in the solution phase of problem resolution.

Here are seven reframing statements that recognize customer concern and help customers move on.

Continue reading 7 Things You Can Say to Gain Control with Challenging Customers

Customer Experience Design by myragolden

3 Expert Tips to Pre-empt an Escalation with a Customer

Women with headsets working at a call center

I remember being a new manager preparing to deliver bad news to a group of executives. I was nervous, fearing I would get questions I couldn’t answer and thinking I’d get slammed in the meeting. My boss, the executive vice president of the company, helped me prepare for the meeting.

“Here’s the strategy you use. You go in there and answer their every question before they even have a chance to ask you anything. This is what politicians, CEOs, and law enforcement officers do in every high-pressure press conference.” And then he walked me through the 3 steps that politicians and CEOs use. We even sat there and role-played in his office.

Three weeks later, I delivered the dim news to a group of 68 executives, all men. And it went well. To my shock and relief, there were no flaring tempers and no questions I couldn’t easily handle. There were very few questions. Using the 3 steps my boss had shared with me, I was able to pre-empt an escalation. Thank God!

Thrilled with the results I got in that meeting, I shared the 3 steps with my employees who worked in customer care. I thought the steps could help them pre-empt escalations with our demanding customers, and they did!

In this article, I’m going to share with you the 3 steps politicians and CEOs use to pre-empt an escalation—the same 3 steps my employees used to successfully pre-empt escalations to supervisors and to pre-empt escalations in aggression. Using these steps, you’ll be able to create calm, prevent an escalation, and be in complete control with demanding customers.

Here are the 3 steps:

Continue reading 3 Expert Tips to Pre-empt an Escalation with a Customer